Say that you LOVE ME <3

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Ayun, so..nagusap kami.. WE ARE OKAY.. those maybe the times lang na you know, minsan couples do fight and struggle.. have misunderstanding and stuff. All I know, nasa iibang stage na kami, like you know, we don't really need to be with eachother 24hours, text a lot and stuff.. like pag baguhan kayo ng boyfriend mo.. gnun lagi diba? We do communicate, pero siempre, not all the time, he does his thing while I do mine, and before the night ends, we still make contact and talk about stuff, alamo niyo un.. It's what you called LOVE.. parang gnun..

Nakakatuwa, parang unti unti na kami bumabalik sa dati, hanggang sa ayun nga, bumalik na kami sa dati, I MEAN, BUMALIK NA AKO SA DATI. Yeah, wala sa kanya ang poblema, nsa akin eh.. hehe.. pero ayun. OK na ako, we are good na, good and much better from before.. hehe..

Kanina nakakatuwa, kasi super antok ako eh.. then gusto ko na sana matulog, eh lately naging busy din ako.. so I really want to make it up to him, haha sabi ko matulog kmi ng hndi binababa ang fone, sobrang nakkatawa, nakatulog talaga ako, bwhahaha. Tapos later, nakakatawa react react kami, wala naman maingay haha.. walang naghihilik haha.. pero nagsabi ba naman hinga daw ako ng hinga LOL hahahaha, sarap kasi ng tulog ko, hmf sia! hmpf hahha

it's time;
9:29 PM

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

From blooming days.. to dull.. That's what's happening with our relationship. I can't deny that.. We are falling apart.

Don't get me wrong, he's not the problem, I AM.. or maybe he made me to be the problem? I've always been sweet and sobrang kulit sa kanya.. pero isang araw, nawala nalang lahat yun. Tinotopak na talaga ako.. magiisang bwan na ata. I suddenly became cold, no hindi ako sawa sa kanya, hindi ako nagsasawa.. but alam niyo yung feeling na, he's always busy and lacks time with you? - - He has valid reasons naman, he text me sometime, but I just don't want to reply nalang.. I was depressed. Para bang, yun mga times na I needed him, wala siya to give me support and comfort me.. dahil busy siya.

I don't want to break up, I never want to break up, but para sa kanya, I am asking for a break-up dahil sa mga kilos ko, salita ko.. I was very cold, there were even times na sinigawan ko siya, which is very unintentional, maybe depressed lang talaga ako eh.

I wanted to cry, sobra. Pero alam niyo, I am still not crying, parang mas mahirap, kasi para bang ang puso ko ang umiiyak para sa akin.. for what reason? I don't know. Magkikita kami later, subukang magusap ng personal kung maaayos pa namin ito.. Hindi ko alam anu ang mangyayare, possibleng magbreak kami.. After our conversation last night, parang ganun eh..

If he ever ask for a break up, then that would hurt me big time, but I won't stop him.. maybe because sa sobrang sakit I'd rather not say - - no, i don't want to break up.. - - maybe I would just be speechless about it. Posting this here, really gives me pain.. it's really hard for me..

My friends doesn't even know what I am going through, as if they will take it seriously.. I doubt it. I don't know, I really never told them.. damn, it hurts.

I am so nervous.. sobrang ewan ang feeling.. I am feeling bad..

Lahat ba ng nangyareng okay sa akin lately may kapalit?Ito na ba ang kapalit na yun? Or it is simply telling me that we are just not meant for eachother :(

it's time;
6:07 AM

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

It was July 10. This is one of the many days na naging happy ako.. and July10 is one of the most memorable days of my life..

At hindi lang in the case of my lovelife.. but with my friends din! Ayun, so ayun, pumunta si Art sa KFC to meet up with me then pumunta kami sa SM. Syempre ayun, okay na okay nga daw.. sabi nila, I was so blooming and very neat daw si Art that day.. parang everything was perfect, ang saya saya pa nga daw..

Ayun, nagkamisunderstanding ata.. kasi nun shopping humiwalay kami ni Art sa kanila.. pero wala lang.. gusto lang namin..pero ang interpretation ni Ivy nabobored daw kami ksama sila, which is definitely not true! Ayun, it ended up na nagaway si Erika and Ivy, hayy nakakalungkot.. tapos kanina wala.. nagiiwasan.. hndi naguusap and stuffs, syempre I was the one who planned na umalis kami, so talagang nalungkot ako na our friendship ay naapektuhan ng gnun gnun.. lots of misunderstandings.. sana maayus na namin ito..

Hindi lang yun, kami din ni Art nagkamisunderstanding..pero after some serious talk naging okay din naman kami.. hehe you might find it corny and stuffs, pero sa church kami nagusap hehehe.. nagkandila pa nga kami eh.. then after some prayer.. nag hug kami and kiss.. haha weee ang kulit!! Then, nagdasal kami.. yun luhud haha.. haha basta.. ang saya saya.. then nikiss nya ako haha.. alamo yun, actually ayaw ko nga ng gnun.. ksi diba nasa church kami.. then nikiss nya ako parang hindi proper..pero prang on second thought, naging happy ako that time.. kasi.. ewan ko.. It's like everything was magical.. you wouldn't know wala naman kayo dun.. at ako lang - - no.. kami lang ang nakakaramdam nun.. sobrang saya..

I am so much inlove with him.. and nagiging sobrang thank you ako kay Lord everyday.. haha.. ang kulit.. basta.. sobrang happy.

it's time;
9:40 PM

Monday, July 9, 2007

Okay, RAGNAROK2 is soon is be opened.. bwhaha.. some friends of mine are now trying the game out.. haha.. oh well, sana maganda, if maganda haha.. - - maglalaro ako.. I'll tell Art na din haha.. argh.. but honestly I hope hindi siya ganon ka-addicting.. haha.. that's bad.. really bad! HAHA!

Tomorrow, aalis kami puntang SM Manila, ofcoarse kasama ang mga friends ko.. and syempre ang boyfriend ko, umalis kasama ang friends ko.. ay masaya.. and cool, but my day won't be really complete kung wala ang honey ko.. naks naman.. gosh.. ngayon ko lang nalaman.. there are just times I can be really sweet ano? haha..

Nanunuod ba kayo ng HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER? I am really loving this series.. sobra sobra.. kaya nga sa net nagbubuff ako ng 1st episode nila.. gusto ko tong umpisahan.. I wanted to know how everything started and how will it end.. if ever diba? hehehe.. Ayun..

Sabi nila doon, Marshall and Lily are the perfect couple dahil sa Olive Theory.. Marshall hates olive.. and Lily loves olives.. at dahil opposite sila.. they attract more.. which made them so perfect haha.. alamo hindi ko alam bakit ko pa sila ginawang example.. pwede ko naman sabihin na.. opposite attracts haha.. just like me and Art..

Soo much different yet.. we so much love with eachother.. haha.. It's weird how we still get along.. and stay in love and very much happy.. despite the fact na.. ganito kami.. we don't like the same stuffs.. Like.. I've always want something special.. he wanted something just simple.. He like to party.. and I'm just a homebody.. I love to go shopping.. and walk walk walk in the mall.. and he just want to sit down on the bench.. or just watch movie.. which I hate LOL.. basta. haha madami pa.. Before, lagi pa namin pinagaawayan ito.. but now.. It's just something we are used to.. haha..

Argh.. grabe I miss blogging like this haha

it's time;
10:59 PM

Sunday, July 8, 2007

QUICK POST

There's this news.. na lilipat ako ng school, argh. Sa Letran sana.. kasi gusto ko syempre kasama ang mga friends ko doon. Hayy. But, the big possibility kasi is sa CSB ako lilipat.. yeah.. it's a good school din naman.. pero argh.. I don't want to be separated with my friends hehe.. hayy.. one reason is Kenric.. offered na ihatid sundo ako if doon nga ako sa CSB lilipat.. hayy.. nun una gusto ni Art doon ako lumipat.. kaso hearing the news na ang bestfriend ko ng Highschool which my first love.. - - - noon.. ay maghahatid sundo skin..? made him sad daw..

And sabi niya.. siguro daw.. simula sa gabing nalaman niya un.. until dumating ang araw na un.. malulungkot siya.. hayy.. matagal pa naman wag muna dapat isipin..

Argh.. sakit ng tyan ko.. sira ata ang tyan ko.. d ko na maisip anu ang kinain ko bakit ganito wah.

it's time;
1:25 PM

Friday, July 6, 2007

Have you ever found yourself craving for someone? Like, how you miss that person when he is beside you? How he makes you laugh despite the fact that you are so disappointed and mad at that time? How you find him stupid and like a clown, yet you still find him hot when he's with you..? And before leaving the cinema.. you go to a corner to watch some trailers while hugging eachother.. that I really find so corny.. pero sweet siya? How he passionately kiss you.. na parang laging sabik sayo? Tipong parang whenever you are with him, everything is so perfect.. everything is just like a dream.. and you feel nothing but happiness?

OMG, that is exactly how I feel right now..

How much he cared whenever I am sick, how concern he is.. and stuffs? Argh.. I am craving for him.. haha.. I am really happy na kahit papano we are reaching this stage in our relationship..

Argh.. I keep writing stuffs like this.. pero d ko alam if nasabi ko na ba talaga ang gusto kong sabihin.. parang in every word may kulang..

Like, kahit ganito ang nararamdaman ko ngayon.. siguro tama ang sinabi nya na inside, may doubt pa din ako.. omg.. no one knows what we've been through before talaga..

hindi ko alam.. dahil siguro mashado akong negative sa buhay.. I love him talaga.. I want to fully trust him.. or I think I fully trust him.. pero hindi ata? hindi un ang nakikita niya.. and slowly.. hindi din un ang nakikita ko ngayon..

Natatakot ako..

for so many things.. does anyone even know what I am feeling at this point?

it's time;
9:22 PM

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

I really never blog anything about my love life na, until recently.. I don't know, as if.. I am getting happier and happier everyday.. every minute.. everyday..

Just what Art told me.. " I am falling more in love with you.. "

Masaya talaga ako, I don't think anybody could know my feelings right now, only God knows how happy I am.. May mga NEGA sa buhay ko, sa paligid ko.. pero what the heck? Who cares?! They won't know what will happen next, me neither.. pero bahala na.. I am sure hindi naman ako pababayaan.. =] Yeah.. that's how confident I am right now, sobra.

First time, in history! - - - Kinantahan ko siya.. haha.. singing marathon kami.. korny noh? I sang.. Only reminds me of you by MYMP.. tapos kumanta siya ng Upside Down by 6Cyclemind and yung The Reason tpos.. Ako'y sayo.. at Ika'y Akin lamang ba yun? HAHA.. Tsaka yung Your Love.. haha.. ayun.. saya saya..

Hayyy. May naalala ako..

Why can't other people.. find happiness..?
Kasi, kahit nagkamali na sila, hindi pa din nila ito, ni-apply sa buhay nila.. When relationship fails, meaning may pagkakamali, if you don't work that mistake out.. history will repeat itself..paulit ulit lang mangyayare ang pagkakamaling nagawa mo..

hindi ka ba nagsasawa doon?

I really want to tell my friend.. ayaw mo ba mag mahal ng tao.. un talagang mahal ka? hindi dahil sa physical mo.. kung hindi sayo mismo.. wag mo daanin sa init ng katawan.. hindi ka mamahalin ng lalake sa katawan mo.. Leave something na maaalala nila habang buhay.. and for that to happen, you don't need to get naked in front of him..

Yeah, sobrang dedicated itong post ko sa isang friend.. I know if nabasa niya ito.. magagalit siya.. but sana naman matuto siya.. I wanted to tell her lots of stuffs.. pero baka naman magalit sa akin.. I don't know how will I approach her for that.. I am no love guru.. or anything.. but masasabi ko madami na din ako natutunan sa buhay..

At for me, ang buhay niya, nakakaawa.. yet she doesn't realized things.. hindi mo ba alam? hindi mo ba maintindihan.. o pilit mo lang hindi iniintindi..

Ewan ko, hindi ko alam in what way ko dapat sabihin.. natural na pranka ako.. pero syempre pag kaibigan ko.. hindi ko naman agad masabi lahat ng gusto ko sabihin.. ayaw ko naman makasakit ako.. pero kung gusto ko siya matuto talaga.. should I really just have to hurt her feelings?.. O hayaan ko nalang siya.. at tuluyan masira ang buhay niya?

It's really confusing.. =[

it's time;
10:28 PM

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

OMG. PMS Attack!! Kamusta ka naman diba? Sakit ng puson ko the whole day!! Tong friend ko naman na si Ivy non-stop sa kalokohan.. tawa ako ng tawa the whole day since morning hanggang gabi.. yeah.. sobra until gabi magkakasama kami.. kamusta naman ang mga paa namin.. ang sakit sakit dahil nga kakalakad.. nag SM North nanaman kami.. haha.. =]

So.. I am with Gee, Ivy, Erika, Mae.. sayang wala si Lesley.. Grabe, ang sakit sakit nga ng katawan ko eh..as in!! HAHA buti nga hindi ako natagusan LOL Since, ang likot likot ko hahaha.. ayan, sumasakit nanaman ang puson ko argh. DIET KO NASIRA!! Kasi c Gee, nanlibre sa Greenwich tapos coke ang drinks.. arghh.. naka 2 soda ako today.. WAAAH =[ pano ba ako papapayat neto.. kung puro fats kinakain ko wahhh.. =[

Haayy.. nakakadepress talaga..
Tong si Mae naman.. depress din sa lovelife.. haha.. paano ung guy na gusto niya.. baka magkabalikan na sila ng EX niya.. haha.. aun.. sabi ba naman sa akin.. " wah ayuko.. hindi ako papayag " LOL HAHA LOKA.. Hayy.. sana mag bloom na ang lovelife niya.. and sana.. she would learn what her mistakes are.. for a better relationship diba? =]

Hay.. speaking of relationship.. I'm scared to fall inlove..
Well, oo.. inlove na ako right now.. but to go on to the next level...
tipong.. alam niyo na.. Argh, hindi ko ma-explain.. basta, all I know.. I am scared to go to the next level.. I am scared of loving someone.. tapos I might just end up.. losing him.. baka mabaliw ako nun eh..ang hirap ng ganon..

ARGHHHHHHHH! FRUSTRATION NAKAKABALIW!! Hindi ba kayo nakakaramdam ng ganon? Oo, you want him to love you.. pero mahirap pa din mag assume.. so.. ngayon.. I am stuck.. and nakakatakot lang kasi.. baka dumating yung time na.. it may be too late for me to hold back my feelings.. kasi baka I was totally fallen for that guy.. na baka..

I won't be able to stand up.. with my own feet.. or it might be too hard for me to stand up and get back with my own foot anymore..

And most of all.. As of now.. I don't think there will be a guy.. that could replace him.. that is worth it.. - - - ARGHHH!! FRUSTRATION TALAGA!!!!

it's time;
8:02 PM

Monday, July 2, 2007

Okay, so can anyone just tell me why do I have to always make the stupidest mistake ever!! SUN na kasi si Erika, ayun wala daw siya katxt soo.. nanghinge ng katxt.. Syempre, ano pa ba ang gagawin ko? Surf around my phone book sino ba dito ang matino..

And guess what? LAHAT SILA WALANG KWENTA HAHA! I just realized wala pala ako matinong katext..haha hindi naman kasi ako yung tipo ng tao na mahilig sa textmate and stuffs.. haha.. tumatagal lang ako sa texting pag friend ko katext ko.. and kung ang boyfriend ko.. other than that wala na.. nakakatamad eh.. hehehe..

So.. ayun, kasi may nkikipag textmate sa akin sa friendster before.. haha.. Naks, mahaba ang hair? haha.. soo taga UP Diliman ito, okay naman siya and stuffs.. Party Guy.. haha.. not like me.. LOL Basta.. kinuha ko number niya..isesend ko sana sa number ng friend ko.. NG ACCIDENTALLY - - -SA KANYA KO ITO NASEND!! DOON SA GUY MISMO!!

Like omg.. bakit ba ang bilis ko pa mag send hindi ko man lang binasa kung kanino ko na send.. argh.. nahihiya ako... SUPER.. PINATAY KO PHONE KO HAHAHHA!

Anyways.. ayun.. Exam ko sa FN1 tomorrow, and guess what wala akong alam..
Why?
It's all about application.. meaning kahit memorize mo ang nasa hand outs.. or notes.. or whatever.. kung hindi mo talaga naiintindihan.. BOKYA KA.
Hayy.. bakit ba kasi wala akong alam sa pagluluto.. pero HRM pa din ang kinuha ko? Arghh..

it's time;
7:37 PM

Sunday, July 1, 2007

I'm getting FAT. I hate it.. haha I lose.. and I gain.. why? Easy. Cuz I keep on eating.. I am really craving for RICE - - eew.. lots of carbohydrates.. yeahh.. It's good.. but too much of it.. is sooo BAD =[

I went to Greenhills and bought some new blouses.. haha.. I realized.. though the blouses suits well.. I still need to lose more weight.. haha.. I want to be skinny? Haha! Starting tomorrow.. I'm going to start a REALLY STRICT DIET. . . . well, goodluck to me! haha..

Oh yeah.. I guess want to clear things out.. haha..

hindi ata malinaw ang sinabi ko sa last post koh.. hindi naman sa bawal ang relationship namin.. ang ibig lang sabihin is.. dba.. IT IS WRONG TO LOVE TOO MUCH.. and yet kahit mali.. MAHAL NA MAHAL PA DIN NIYA AKO SOBRA..

haha.. I really never told him.. but I can't afford to love someone else.. rather than HIM. Well,of coarse next to GOD.. Only ART remains.

Argh.. tomorrow.. I have an EXAM on Theology.. argh.l. I hate hate hate that!
I also have a THEOLOGY PRACTICUM - - oh no!! =[

it's time;
10:09 PM

HAHA! I MOVED! - - FOR A REASON!

Actually, I don't know why! LOL. I just wanted to move.. for more privacy I guess? I just want those few people to know what's been happening to me.. I just think that I am being a better person.. than what I am before.. that moving a blog, is one thing that would satisfy me.. so If any of you noticed, I keep on moving blogs.. HAHA. Anyways, my kikayblog is still up, and my love blog is also up.. soo.. you don't need to worry about any of those..

Anyways.

OMG. I am so happy right now. I feel soo in love with my man. I am really thanking God for allowing me to meet him, allowing me to know him.. allowing me and him to be together.. I owe it all to HIM. =]

Whenever I asked him, does he love me? he never fails to say YES. Last night was different.. how much do you love me? - - - "I love you so so so so much, I know it's wrong.. but I still do love you that much.. that I really think you are the one.. my future.." That message, really filled me with happiness.. like. OMG.. It really did.. I really love my man.. soo much..

I went shopping last time, soo I am at my bankruptcy. HAHA Btw.. I can't wait for Mimi and I to hang out soon, love you sis!

it's time;
1:17 PM